Oh Baby

He told me nothing was the matter.

“Shhh baby, nothing is the matter”

Four words that seemed to shatter

Every waking bone in my body.

He said, “Oh, you’re just overreacting,”

Stressing about the little things.

He said it would be alright after two,

 Maybe three weeks went by.

And I began to get sick.

As if I was just making it up,

Pretending to act like someone has

Exhumed all the life out of me to the

Point that I could no longer stand.

 A lifeless being wandering endlessly

In search of the unknown.  

As if I just wanted to throw up every single day.

Using my sickness as a means to stay

Close to him

Giving away fluids that sustained my life to

Make room for another.

A makeshift teenage mother

He did not want to believe it.

No, he did not believe it.

He had not conceived it,

He would be naïve then

“shh nothing is the matter”

 About a month into, laying on top of me,

He still refused to believe.

He said that everything would be okay.

Anything to get in, get out and go

Like self service gas station, serving himself

Gasing this station, and complaining that the

Cost is always too high

But conceiving a child is not like buying a car and

Then dropping it off to a service station

Or selling it back, or taking it to the dump

Pumping the gas, letting me plump,

Leaving me, classic dump

He lay on top of me and I saw the blood,

Blood that a woman should not be bleeding.

Blood as dark and red as the night sky,

Empty of the light stars give.

Blood of another.

Blood of his other.

He will not believe

That you are buried somewhere in

The Houston sewage system

Wondering why your mother abandoned you

Why did she let go slip away.

He will not believe that

I wanted you, that I have to

Show your brothers and sisters

Photographs of where you should be,

 In my arms

 He had reached into my stomach

And taken it away by disbelief.

And I lay there, truth exposed for all to see.

 Two tests would not even set me free,

But how could they?

After it is gone, up into the heavens,

Maybe where it belonged.

And he still does not believe.

Oh baby.

©Danie Rae