Hickies

The Last memory I have of you is

On the left side of my neck;

 prominent, crimson, and noticeable.

Swollen, tender, and painful,

 And like you,

Its imprint is permanent and

Will sink deep into the crevices of my skin,

 Into the crevices of my soul.

As much as I’ve tried,

 I cannot forget.

And believe me, I’ve  tried.

There isn’t enough make-up in the world

To hide it,

Enough ice to reduce it,

Or enough cream to sooth it.

Big as the fuckin’ sun,
It still remains, you still remain.

I cannot change.

 The recovery will be slow and painful,

For with each new sunrise,

 Aside from the last sunset,

 I will touch and feel the burn.

 I will look and feel the anguish.

Big as the fuckin’ sun.

 That last time when all inhibitions

 Were lost and new ideas found.

I will look at and remember how I

Gave in to the most passionate 45 minutes of my life,

 Reaching a point of insanity that

Made my toes curl so far under,

Opened my eyes,

And made my back turn into a fuckin’ crescent.

Yes, it was that good.

I truly saw myself for who I was.

A freak, I deny it no longer.

I wear this symbol with pride.

I cannot change. I cannot forget.

I cannot change. I cannot forget.

That day you decided you wanted

To become Buffy the black girl slayer

And dig your teeth so far into my skin

That you can feel my pulse jump three times.

Trying to suck every ounce of me into you

Into me, back into you, into me again.

That last memory of you on

 The left side of my neck,

Sinking deep into my chest.

Big, red, and noticeable,

Swollen, sore, and painful.

Big as the fuckin’ sun.

©Danie Rae